i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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