i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just google imaged poop.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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