How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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