you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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