Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
