Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
