My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize