Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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