I understand Curling. That high.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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