um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize