Buhtt sex?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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