the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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