I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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