...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
