oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize