He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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