how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
