my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Everclear isn't food dammit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize