i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
