he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
