I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
