i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
