I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
