I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize