Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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