at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
