i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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