forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
