do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
