I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
