did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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