I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
