i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize