I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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