we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
