I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
