New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
