jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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