If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
