You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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