so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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