Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
