Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
