you would pick up someone in the library
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
