The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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