Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
