We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Soap is not a condiment
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
