I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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