Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
