There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
