in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
