so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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