CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
