i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize