I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
