He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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