I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
