So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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