Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
birth control should be required to get into college
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
