i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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