literally had 100 drinks last night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
