i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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