She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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