you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
