so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
