ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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