That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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