Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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