remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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