There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
