i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
