Your face is a jimmy john
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize