Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
