I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
How does one acquire holy water?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
