You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
